Getting my life back together
How to get your life back together
My story
I´m at a point in my life where daydreaming being saved no longer attracts me. I turned 28 years recently and it was supposed to be a happy day since it´s the celebration of my birthdate but, I spent the past few days before my birthday sad about where I was in my life at 28. My birthday came with presents, but it also came with many realizations.
I realize that I had no job, no occupation, no active friendships, no romantic interests or romantic relationships, no strong family bonds, no hobbies. So many NO´S followed me as if somebody was making a list. Another of my many realizations was that I was the one at fault. I do recognize that I´ve many setbacks and unfortunate events in my life that might have played a role but, at the end of the day I was an adult and I was responsible for my life.
Where I am today is the result of my thought patterns and habits, and let me tell you, I am not happy at all where I am in life. To make things a little bit harder, we are in a middle of a pandemic, I am an introverted socially awkward 28-year-old woman. After almost 7 years of working a corporate job, my mental health deteriorated. After quitting my job, I decided to take a "break" from the adult world to heal myself mentally and physically. I got rid of everything negative in my life, even relationships.
Well, that break turned into 2 years and it´s still going.
After a period of self-loathing, depression, anxiety, and fear, I´ve decided that I WANTED A BETTER LIFE. But, where to start? My life was in such a mess, I felt like I needed another 2 years to begin to put things in order, and that´s when it hit me, I am almost 30 years old. I panicked, cried, gave up, and accepted my ill fate ( I am very dramatic by the way).
How does one get their life back together? How do you lay out all the pieces of yourself to work on them? Well, Here´s what I´ve come up with with the help of the internet, because hey! Getting your life back together with an existential crisis doesn´t have to be done on your own.
I needed to know who I was and all the parts of me. Let's say I Marie Kondo´ed myself (Is that even a word?). I wrote down all categories one can think of, Physical health, mental health, finances, relationships, spirituality, Family, occupation, etc. And then proceeded to write my thoughts down, was I satisfied? What´s my current status? What needs to change? what can I improve?
I needed to know who I was and all the parts of me. Let's say I Marie Kondo´ed myself (Is that even a word?). I wrote down all categories one can think of, Physical health, mental health, finances, relationships, spirituality, Family, occupation, etc. And then proceeded to write my thoughts down, was I satisfied? What´s my current status? What needs to change? what can I improve?
I needed to know where I was standing in my life, that way I would know what I needed to improve to get to my dream life. It´s like when you´re trying to decide where to eat out until you don´t decide where you want to eat, you won't start moving. I saw my life and I didn´t like it anymore, so I made the decision to change it. That was the easiest part.
But, hey great job Gigi, now you know everything that went and is wrong with your life, now what? well, now I must make a plan to change right? The overwhelming feeling I felt of not knowing how to do the things I needed to do made me procrastinate and dissociate completely. It's weird, I knew how my dream life looks like, I knew what was wrong with me, but the plan to get there, I was lost.
The truth is, I didn't have to have it all figure it out. I was expecting to be delivered a plan with dates and a schedule on the secret formula to achieving my goals, but nope. The hard truth is that is not easy. There is a reason why I ended up where I ended up in life: My negative thinking patterns, my limiting beliefs, and my bad habits. So to achieve what I wanted I needed to break what I was, which meant changing my thoughts and habits, so they could potentially lead me to a better life. Things do not happen overnight. My mind was like a machine ruled by my subconscious mind and my subconscious mind had programming that led me where I was.
As desperate as I was, I needed to fix the real issues. Not that my financial crisis and physical health meant any less but, it was all connected. You see, my limiting beliefs led me to accumulate debt, they led me to believe that I was not worthy of abundance and prosperity, they led me to believe that I was doomed to fail, so I didn't even try most of the time.
Being aware is the first and biggest first step into getting your life together. One phrase that came to me when I felt discouraged because I wasn't making any progress at the beginning of my journey, when I "woke up", totally made sense and it screamed love and patience. This phrase came to me after a few weeks of tormenting myself and convincing myself that I was meant to always stay like this. It came to me as a gentle and loving thought, and till this day it encourages me.
I hope you can stick around and come with me on this journey. I would love to hear your stories.
With much love,
Gigi
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